A week ago, Naoya and I set out to visit the Adult Treasure Expo in Chiba City near Tokyo. The Expo was held at Makuhari Messe (the same place where Live Earth Tokyo was held), which is a gigantic complex of convention centers and auditoriums. Despite being one of the year's largest adult goods trade shows, it was very poorly advertised and had almost no signage, which meant that every time we set out to find it, we invariably arrived at "Follow in Christ's Footsteps 2008." Afraid to alert the Christians to the presence of several thousand dildos in their vicinity, we finally asked a janitor, who put us on the right track.
Upon entering the Expo, we were immediately greeted with a giant poster of "The Maeve," which shares a name with my favorite Irish lass.
Naoya and Maeve and Naoya and "Maeve"A few highlights from the Expo:
Some nice Americans from Fucking Machines invited me to touch their tongue chainsaw.
A Japanese businessman demonstrated the latest handjob robots. Apparently, you connect them to your DVD player and they sync-up with the rhythm of any pump-action happening in the film.
Perhaps the most amazing piece of technology present was cleverly disguised as a bowling ball and pin on one side and a microphone on the other. The device is designed for couples sustaining long-distance relationships, and works as follows: the couple establishes a video web chat; the girl plugs the "microphone" into her computer, and the boy plugs the "bowling ball" into his. The top of the microphone unscrews to reveal a lifelike phallus head, while the bottom of the bowling pin pulls away to reveal a synthetic vagina. Then, through the miracle of the internet, everything that the girl does to the microphone is experienced by the boy via the bowling pin. We tested this, each insert a finger into the pin and squeezing the microphone, and it was remarkable.
Finally, on a sad note, I discovered only after paying my one-day entrance fee for Saturday that Sunday's headlining stage act was none other than Boys II Men. I guess now we know where the end of the road is.
1 comment:
The Japanese never cease to amaze me with their powers of innovation and their love of sex toys. We Americans aren't so good at the former, but I think the latter is a pan-cultural phenomenon, after all. Turning Boys II Men into cultural ambassadors is pretty nice on our part, though.
Post a Comment