I'm not going to explain this one, so just watch it.

School as Haiku

There are twelve Australian students currently visiting the high school where I work, and I was just asked to translate the instructions to a math worksheet from Japanese into English for them. The instructions were:

As you feel the melancholy of a deepening Autumn, and gazing into the sky brings tears to your eyes, let me cheer you up with a few sentimental questions.

It then went on to talk about the probability of rolling three dice and getting a 13.

Once again my day started when a great poop...

There's a series of one minute cartoons on NHK (Japanese bublic broadcasting) meant to teach children about proper use of the potty, including when to go and what to do when you pee yourself. Naturally, I (The Pope of Poop) am fascinated by this show. Here is the first episode I ever saw, which started my obsession:


The song goes something like this:
"Once again my day started/ when a great poop/ came out so today/ I will be so happy/ will be so happy/ will be so happy!


Here's another classic, this time with English subtitles.


And finally, for a bit of tradition (nationalism, even?), the Japanese-style squat toilet version.


My love affair with Pants Pankurou (specifically Toire-sama, or Great And Honorable Mr. Toilet) has been going strong for some time now, and so for our two-year anniversary, Naoya bought me a giant stuffed Toire-sama.

How to Keep Fit

Yes, I realize that all I ever talk about is Japanese TV, but the very good reason for that is that Japanese TV is freakin' awesome. Here is a sample from one of my favorite short programs from NHK, the Japanese public broadcasting channel. It is called "Salaryman Taiso" or Salaryman Stretches. Theoretically, it is meant to teach businessmen how to stretch, but really it teaches them how to prance like young deer. Please pay special attention to the English at the end. Also, at one point the announcer suggests having your wife put your shoes on for you, and says that such chores are the basis of a successful marriage. I am so glad we have these people to teach us about successful marriages.

Just Now On TV

Just now on TV they showed a boat in Tokyo where you can throw weddings for your dogs. There are dresses, collars to exchange, dog-friendly cakes, a white guy in a priest suit, and at the end they paw-stamp a wedding license and the crew of the boat showers them in confetti. At the end of the piece, the price (16,000 yen/ about $135?) came on the screen and Naoya's reaction was "Oh, we could do that!"